Felix Hartmannwhat your cat means
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Felix Hartmann 3 ebooks · 303 chapters

Your cat has been talking to you this whole time.

Three illustrated ebooks that finally translate her: decode the tail, ears and slow blinks, see what her indoor life is really like, and stop believing the coat-color “personality” myths.

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3ebooks
1,457pages
303chapters
The three ebooks in the What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You bundle: The Wrong Cat Color, A Life Indoors, and She's Trying to Tell You Something
“The question is not whether she is communicating. The question is whether you have learned to listen.”— from She's Trying to Tell You Something
Ithe bundle

One cat. Three ways of finally getting her.

Here's the thing nobody tells you when you bring a cat home: she starts explaining herself on day one. Most of us just never learn the language. So I wrote three books about it — and I'm selling them together, because you really need all three angles.

She's Trying to Tell You Something: 101 Hidden Signals From Your Cat is the translator. Tail positions, ear angles, slow blinks, head bumps, love bites, the belly that is not an invitation — 101 signals, decoded one by one, ending in a complete tail lexicon.

“Your cat has been talking to you since the day she came home, and she has never once stopped.”

— She's Trying to Tell You Something

A Life Indoors: 101 Things That Happen to Your Indoor Cat is the documentary. From the window at dawn to the midnight zoomies, the vacuum monster to the vet visit — what her day actually looks like while you're at work, asleep, or not paying attention.

“It is the world of the indoor cat, and it is far richer, stranger, and more purposeful than most of us ever stop to consider.”

— A Life Indoors

The Wrong Cat Color: 101 Myths About Coat and Personality is the myth-buster. Moody black cats, “tortitude,” the one-brain-cell orange cat — where each reputation came from, what the genetics actually say, and why it matters for the cat on your couch.

“The wrong cat color is the one we use to decide who a cat is before she has had the chance to show us.”

— The Wrong Cat Color

Read one and you'll understand your cat better. Read all three and you'll start catching things she's been saying for years.

IIthe difference

Guessing vs. actually knowing

How most of us “read” our cats

  • A swishing tail means she's happy, right? (Not always.)
  • She bit me while I was petting her — she must be moody.
  • She sleeps all day, so nothing much happens to her.
  • She's a tortie, so of course she has an attitude.
  • Scattered tips from random videos and comment sections.

With the What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You bundle

  • 101 signals, each explained — including the tail combos that change the meaning.
  • You learn overstimulation cues, so the “random” bite stops being random.
  • 101 moments from her real indoor day, from sunbeam migration to the 3 a.m. patrol.
  • 101 coat-color myths taken apart, so you see her, not her fur.
  • 303 chapters in one organized, illustrated set you can keep and re-read.
IIIwhat's inside

All three ebooks, every chapter

Nothing held back — here is the full table of contents for each book in the bundle.

She's Trying to Tell You Something cover
Book 1 of 3

She's Trying to Tell You Something

101 Hidden Signals From Your Cat

101 chapters · 442 pages · PDF

Her tail, ears, eyes, voice and posture — each signal decoded, then combined into a complete tail lexicon.

  1. The Tail Tell
  2. Ear Whisperer
  3. The Slow Blink
  4. Kneading Magic
  5. The Purr Puzzle
  6. Meow Meanings
  7. Chirps and Trills
  8. The Hiss and Growl
  9. Head Bumps
  10. The Allogrooming Bond
  11. Tail Wrap
  12. The Belly Reveal
Show all 101 chapters
  1. Love Bites
  2. The Flehmen Response
  3. Whisker Wisdom
  4. The Piloerection
  5. The Play Bow
  6. Tail Chasing
  7. The Cat Loaf
  8. The Sphinx Pose
  9. The Sideways Flop
  10. The Back Roll
  11. The Head Press
  12. The Tail Flick
  13. The Tail Twitch
  14. The Tail Thrash
  15. The Tail Wrap Around Human
  16. The Tail Between Legs
  17. The Raised Tail
  18. The Question Mark Tail
  19. The Puffed Tail
  20. The Slow Tail Swish
  21. The Rapid Tail Swish
  22. The Tail Hug
  23. The Tail Hold
  24. The Tail Flicker
  25. The Tail Quiver
  26. The Tail Curl
  27. The Tail Tuck
  28. The Tail Wag
  29. The Tail Wave
  30. The Tail Whip
  31. The Tail Arch
  32. The Tail Hook
  33. The Tail Laser
  34. The Tail Puff
  35. The Tail Swish
  36. The Tail Flicker and Chirp
  37. The Tail and Ear Combo
  38. The Tail and Whisker Combo
  39. The Tail and Eye Combo
  40. The Tail and Body Posture Combo
  41. The Tail and Vocalization Combo
  42. The Tail and Scent Combo
  43. The Tail and Touch Combo
  44. The Tail and Play Combo
  45. The Tail and Rest Combo
  46. The Tail and Greeting Combo
  47. The Tail and Feeding Combo
  48. The Tail and Grooming Combo
  49. The Tail and Vet Visit Combo
  50. The Tail and Multi-Cat Combo
  51. The Tail and Human Interaction Combo
  52. The Tail and Stress Combo
  53. The Tail and Pain Combo
  54. The Tail and Illness Combo
  55. The Tail and Aging Combo
  56. The Tail and Breed Combo
  57. The Tail and Playful Aggression Combo
  58. The Tail and Fear Combo
  59. The Tail and Aggression Combo
  60. The Tail and Submission Combo
  61. The Tail and Confidence Combo
  62. The Tail and Curiosity Combo
  63. The Tail and Contentment Combo
  64. The Tail and Excitement Combo
  65. The Tail and Boredom Combo
  66. The Tail and Frustration Combo
  67. The Tail and Overstimulation Combo
  68. The Tail and Relaxation Combo
  69. The Tail and Sleep Combo
  70. The Tail and Stretching Combo
  71. The Tail and Scratching Combo
  72. The Tail and Climbing Combo
  73. The Tail and Hunting Combo
  74. The Tail and Playing with Toys Combo
  75. The Tail and Eating Combo
  76. The Tail and Drinking Combo
  77. The Tail and Grooming Others Combo
  78. The Tail and Being Groomed Combo
  79. The Tail and Petting Combo
  80. The Tail and Being Held Combo
  81. The Tail and Carrier Combo
  82. The Tail and Car Ride Combo
  83. The Tail and New Environments Combo
  84. The Tail and Strangers Combo
  85. The Tail and Other Animals Combo
  86. The Tail and Seasonal Changes Combo
  87. The Tail and Health Monitoring Combo
  88. The Tail and Bonding Combo
  89. The Complete Tail Lexicon
A Life Indoors cover
Book 2 of 3

A Life Indoors

101 Things That Happen to Your Indoor Cat

101 chapters · 502 pages · PDF

A year in the hidden world of your indoor cat — the rituals, small dramas and quiet adventures that fill her day.

  1. The Window at Dawn
  2. The Morning Stretch
  3. Breakfast Ritual
  4. The Litter Box Inspection
  5. The First Nap
  6. The Bird at the Feeder
  7. The Vacuum Monster
  8. The Cardboard Box
  9. The Sunbeam Migration
  10. The Midday Groom
  11. The Human's Lunch
  12. The Afternoon Siesta
Show all 101 chapters
  1. The Laser Pointer
  2. The Bookshelf Climb
  3. The Toilet Paper Caper
  4. The Plant Inspection
  5. The Doorbell
  6. The Delivery Box
  7. The Afternoon Zoomies
  8. The Paper Bag
  9. The Hair Tie
  10. The Keyboard Takeover
  11. The Ripple Rug
  12. The Water Bowl
  13. The Window Watch: Squirrel
  14. The Nap on the Human
  15. The Midnight Meowing
  16. The Bug Hunt
  17. The Hairball
  18. The Vet Visit
  19. The Return Home
  20. The Catnip High
  21. The Ignored Toy
  22. The Window Watch: Rain
  23. The Grooming Session
  24. The Hairball Aftermath
  25. The Shadow Chase
  26. The Dinner Time Countdown
  27. The Evening Play
  28. The Post-Play Pant
  29. The Window Watch: Night
  30. The Bedtime Routine
  31. The Midnight Zoomies
  32. The Sleep Twitch
  33. The Early Morning Wake-Up Call
  34. The Sunbeam Returns
  35. The Dust Bath
  36. The Hairball on the Carpet
  37. The Refusal to Move
  38. The Midday Sunbath
  39. The Toy Mouse
  40. The Laptop Nap
  41. The Shedding Season
  42. The Allergy Sneeze
  43. The Box Fort
  44. The Vet Follow-Up
  45. The Catnip Toy
  46. The Window Watch: Snow
  47. The Hairball Remedy
  48. The Afternoon Stalk
  49. The Paper Bag Redux
  50. The Grooming Battle
  51. The Midday Visitor
  52. The Window Watch: Butterfly
  53. The Sunbeam Shift
  54. The Litter Box Change
  55. The Evening Stroll
  56. The Human's Dinner
  57. The Post-Dinner Nap
  58. The Nighttime Window
  59. The Hairball on the Bed
  60. The Early Morning Cuddle
  61. The Breakfast Anticipation
  62. The Sunbeam Play
  63. The Midday Grooming
  64. The Afternoon Nap on the Windowsill
  65. The Evening Play with the Laser
  66. The Dinner Time Meow
  67. The Post-Dinner Groom
  68. The Nighttime Patrol
  69. The Midnight Meow Redux
  70. The Sleep Twitch Redux
  71. The Early Morning Stretch
  72. The Window at Dawn Redux
  73. The Hairball Prevention
  74. The Vet Annual Exam
  75. The Catnip Toy Redux
  76. The Box Fort Redux
  77. The Sunbeam Migration Redux
  78. The Grooming Session Redux
  79. The Evening Stroll Redux
  80. The Nighttime Window Redux
  81. The Breakfast Ritual Redux
  82. The Midday Nap Redux
  83. The Afternoon Play Redux
  84. The Dinner Time Redux
  85. The Nighttime Cuddle
  86. The Sleep
  87. The Dawn Approaches
  88. The Window at Dawn: A New Day
  89. The 101st Thing: The Human's Reflection
The Wrong Cat Color cover
Book 3 of 3

The Wrong Cat Color

101 Myths About Coat and Personality

101 chapters · 513 pages · PDF

The science and superstition behind coat-color stereotypes — and why your cat is not her coat.

  1. The Myth of the Moody Black Cat
  2. Orange Cats and the 'Ginger Menace' Stereotype
  3. Tuxedo Cats: Born Dapper or Born Dastardly?
  4. The Calico's 'Crazy' Reputation
  5. White Cats: Deaf, Dumb, and Aloof?
  6. Grey Cats and the 'Grey Matter' Myth
  7. Tabby Cats: The Original 'Wild' Personality?
  8. Tortoiseshell Cats and the 'Tortitude' Legend
  9. The Myth of the 'Bad Luck' Black Cat in Shelters
  10. Why We Believe: The Psychology of Color Stereotypes
  11. What Is Cat Personality, Anyway?
  12. The Genetics of Coat Color: A Primer
Show all 101 chapters
  1. The Genetics of Behavior: What Actually Matters
  2. Breed vs. Color: Untangling the Confusion
  3. The Myth of the 'One-Person' Cat
  4. Are Orange Cats Really Friendlier?
  5. Black Cats and Aggression: The Evidence
  6. White Cats and Shyness: The Deafness Confound
  7. Calico and Tortoiseshell: The 'Feisty' Myth in Shelters
  8. The Myth of the 'Lazy' Grey Cat
  9. Tabby Cats and Hunting Instinct: Fact or Fiction?
  10. Tuxedo Cats: The 'Gentleman' Myth
  11. The Myth of the 'Talkative' Siamese (and Other Color-Linked Breeds)
  12. The 'Hypoallergenic' Cat Color Myth
  13. Do Black Cats Overheat? The Thermal Myth
  14. The Myth of the 'Lucky' White Cat in Some Cultures
  15. Orange Cats and the 'Garfield' Effect
  16. The 'Naughty Tortie' in Veterinary Practice
  17. Black Cat Syndrome: The Real Story
  18. The Myth of the 'Calico Attitude' in Multi-Cat Homes
  19. Grey Cats and the 'Russian Blue' Mystique
  20. The Myth of the 'Affectionate' Tabby
  21. Tuxedo Cats and 'Bib' Behavior: A Myth
  22. The 'Tortie Purr-sonality' in Popular Culture
  23. Black Cats in Folklore: From Bad Luck to Good
  24. The Myth of the 'Independent' Orange Cat
  25. White Cats and the 'Deaf and Dumb' Slur
  26. The Myth of the 'Aggressive' Calico in Shelters
  27. Grey Cats and the 'Invisible' Myth in Shelters
  28. The Myth of the 'Talkative' Tortie
  29. Tabby Cats and 'Wild' Ancestry: A Genetic Reality Check
  30. The Myth of the 'Loyal' Tuxedo Cat
  31. Black Cats and the 'Invisible' Illness Myth
  32. Orange Cats and the 'Dumb Blonde' Trope
  33. The Myth of the 'Sensitive' White Cat
  34. Calico Cats and the 'Queen Bee' Myth
  35. Grey Cats and the 'Ghost' Myth
  36. The Myth of the 'Independent' Tortie
  37. Tabby Cats and the 'Hunter' Myth in Urban Homes
  38. The Halfway Point: What We've Learned So Far
  39. How to Assess Your Cat's Personality (Without Color Bias)
  40. The Role of Early Socialization in Personality
  41. The Impact of Environment on Cat Behavior
  42. The Myth of the 'One-Person' Cat: Revisited
  43. Breed-Specific Personalities: What's Real?
  44. The Myth of the 'Affectionate' Breed vs. Color
  45. How Media and Memes Shape Our Perception of Cat Color
  46. The 'Black Cat Bias' in Veterinary Medicine
  47. The 'Orange Cat Bias' in Adoption
  48. The 'Tortie Bias' in Behavior Consultations
  49. The 'White Cat Bias' in Deafness Diagnosis
  50. The 'Calico Bias' in Multi-Cat Households
  51. The 'Tabby Bias' in Feral Cat Management
  52. The 'Grey Cat Bias' in Senior Adoptions
  53. The 'Black Cat Bias' in Photography
  54. The 'Orange Cat Bias' in Social Media
  55. The 'Tortie Bias' in Folklore and Superstition
  56. The 'Calico Bias' in Art and Literature
  57. The 'White Cat Bias' in Horror and Superstition
  58. The 'Tabby Bias' in Children's Media
  59. The 'Grey Cat Bias' in Mysticism
  60. The 'Black Cat Bias' in Language and Idioms
  61. The 'Orange Cat Bias' in Comedy
  62. The 'Tortie Bias' in Gender Norms
  63. The 'Calico Bias' in Genetics Education
  64. The 'White Cat Bias' in Deaf Culture
  65. The 'Tabby Bias' in Working Cat Programs
  66. The 'Grey Cat Bias' in Breed Rescue
  67. The 'Black Cat Bias' in Halloween
  68. The 'Orange Cat Bias' in Weight and Diet
  69. The 'Tortie Bias' in Pain Management
  70. The 'Calico Bias' in Senior Care
  71. The 'White Cat Bias' in Sun Safety
  72. The 'Tabby Bias' in Play and Enrichment
  73. The 'Grey Cat Bias' in Anxiety and Stress
  74. The 'Black Cat Bias' in Grief and Loss
  75. The 'Orange Cat Bias' in Training and Intelligence
  76. The 'Tortie Bias' in Bonding and Attachment
  77. The 'Calico Bias' in Adoption Counseling
  78. The 'White Cat Bias' in Older Adults
  79. The 'Tabby Bias' in Apartment Living
  80. The 'Grey Cat Bias' in Multi-Cat Conflicts
  81. The 'Black Cat Bias' in Pet Loss and Memorials
  82. The 'Orange Cat Bias' in Fostering
  83. The 'Tortie Bias' in Rescue and Rehoming
  84. The 'Calico Bias' in Breeders and Breed Standards
  85. The 'White Cat Bias' in Disaster Preparedness
  86. The 'Tabby Bias' in Outdoor Access
  87. The 'Grey Cat Bias' in Aging and Senior Health
  88. The 'Black Cat Bias' in the Future
  89. Beyond Color: Celebrating the Individual Cat
Get the What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You Bundle — $60 $37

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IVreader results

What readers are saying

PLACEHOLDER

[Real reader quote about She's Trying to Tell You Something goes here.]

[Reader first name, location]
PLACEHOLDER

[Real reader quote about A Life Indoors goes here.]

[Reader first name, location]
PLACEHOLDER

[Real reader quote about The Wrong Cat Color goes here.]

[Reader first name, location]
Felix Hartmann
Vabout

Hi, I'm Felix.

I make videos about one question: why does my cat do that? The slow blink across the room. The 3 a.m. sprint down the hallway. The bite that comes out of nowhere in the middle of a great petting session.

The comments kept asking for something you could sit down with and actually keep — so I wrote it. Three books, 101 chapters each: one on her signals, one on her indoor life, and one on the coat-color myths that get in the way of seeing her clearly.

If you've ever looked at your cat and thought “what are you trying to tell me?” — this is for you.

Felix Hartmann@FelixHartmann
VIget the bundle

What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You

The What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You bundle — three ebooks
  • She's Trying to Tell You Something — 101 Hidden Signals From Your Cat (442 pages)
  • A Life Indoors — 101 Things That Happen to Your Indoor Cat (502 pages)
  • The Wrong Cat Color — 101 Myths About Coat and Personality (513 pages)
  • All 3 ebooks as PDFs in one download — read on phone, tablet, Kindle app or computer
$60$37
Get the What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You Bundle — $60 $37

Instant download · Yours forever

Secure checkout via Gumroad · Visa · Mastercard · Amex · PayPal · Apple Pay

VIIquestions

Before you ask…

Is this real cat science, or just opinions?

The books draw on widely published feline behavior research, coat-color genetics and everyday observation of how cats live indoors, written for regular cat people rather than specialists. They're meant to help you notice and understand — not to diagnose. If something about your cat's health or behavior worries you, see your vet.

Your videos are free — why buy the books?

A video covers one thing in a few minutes. The bundle is 303 chapters across 1,457 pages, organized so you can look up the exact signal, habit or myth you're wondering about — and keep it forever, no algorithm required.

Why only $37?

It's launch pricing. I'd rather get these into the hands of as many cat people as possible while the promo runs. When the timer runs out, the price goes back up.

Do I get all the ebooks or just one?

All three. She's Trying to Tell You Something, A Life Indoors and The Wrong Cat Color are all included in the one purchase — a single download with every book inside.

What format are they in?

PDF. They open on any phone, tablet, e-reader app or computer. You get the download link immediately after checkout, and they're yours to keep.

I have a male cat — does “she” still apply?

Completely. The books use “she” for readability, but every signal, habit and myth applies to cats of any sex.

Get the What Your Cat Is Secretly Telling You Bundle — $60 $37